Other than in a few exceptional cases divorce always involves conflict. As people separate they both have to start looking after their own interests while they are dividing up their assets and this, naturally, will result in disagreements.
Many couples are convinced that if they go before a court a judge will resolve all their conflict for them, for better or worse. But this is far from the truth. Having your fate dictated to you in a family law court can leave you feeling utterly powerless and will result in further conflict with your ex-spouse in the future. There is also the possibility of appeals and changes of circumstance in the future that will land you back in the courts fighting for your future
Mediation
Mediation, on the other hand, can help you and your ex to resolve conflicts without the need of a family law court. Working through any conflicts with the assistance of a mediator is empowering and less intimidating than the traditional courts.
Mediation is far from easy, and it requires a lot of work and both mental and emotional effort. However, by the end of the mediation process you will come out with a fair divorce settlement and the tools to communicate effectively with your ex-spouse for when future conflicts of interest arise.
Most people will have spent their lives trying to avoid conflict and therefore need to learn the skills to deal with it effectively when it becomes simply unavoidable. Sitting in a room with your ex and talking through the terms of your divorce may be the very last thing that you want to do. However, this is the only way to truly resolve conflict.
If your divorce terms have been dictated to you the feelings of conflict will still be with you if you disagree with the outcome. You will have no way of resolving these feelings without going back through the courts.
Through mediation you will not have everything your own way, but you will have an understanding of how any why things have been split the way they have and a mediator is there to help you communicate and listen effectively. This way you can come out of your divorce without feeling like you have been treated unfairly and that you have not had an opportunity to voice your opinion. You will also feel much more comfortable in resolving future issues with your ex and for couples with children, this is very important.
Divorce will always involve conflict, but mediation will help to reduce and resolve it.