Ending a marriage and facing a divorce is a very emotional time. It can cause even the gentlest and most level-headed of people to become angry, bitter and highly stressed. No matter the circumstances of your divorce, you will need to be prepared for a full range of emotions.
It is common and understandable for all communication to break down between you and your ex during the divorce process. Each partner has to start trying to protect themselves and you may uncover all sorts of unwanted information about the person that you used to love.
The temptation to run to the courts to get everything you can during the divorce is strong for many people, but like it or not, your ex will still be in your life once the divorce is finalised and therefore mediation is often the best way to negotiate a divorce for long term quality of life.
Mediation will not only ensure you have control over how your divorce is negotiated, give you time to try out various ways to both spend time with the children and keep costs down, but it will also open up a line of communication with your ex and teach you both how to communicate, despite your emotions.
There are many examples in family courts of when judges have been strongly critical of the disputes between couples, as situations can quickly spiral out of control when couples can not communicate. This is very unpleasant and costly for childless couples, but the couple do have children it is devastating.
When you have children together you will always be in each others’ lives to some extent. Learning early on how to communicate will ensure you will not feel fear or get unduly stressed each time a new situation arises, such as your ex finding a new partner, relocating or wanting to take the kids on holiday.
Even if you do not have children, allowances may be renegotiated, pensions will be split and situations will arise which may involve having to contact your ex. You may also share social groups and be close to other family members which may mean occasional encounters. If you are constantly worrying about having to talk to your ex and do not know how to go about it then you will be putting yourself under an unhealthy level of stress.
By going down the route of mediation you can learn in a controlled environment how to communicate with your ex and learn how to conquer your emotions to achieve a good result, whether that is co-parenting easing social tensions with friends. If you learn that you can be in the same room as each other and talk in a productive way then you will have a far better quality of life going forward.
Mediation is not only good for the short term but also for reducing stress and improving your life in the long term.