Very few people get married thinking that they will end up divorcing, but unfortunately many marriages do end.
In our experiences as divorce lawyers in Cardiff, we have encountered numerous reasons for people seeking a divorce. No two couples are the same and no two couples have the same story.
However, for most people there is always a defining moment when they know that they will be seeking a divorce. This moment may come about suddenly or it may be something that has built up gradually. However, there are a few common themes around this moment that we do see regularly.
The digital discovery
Whether one partner has been purposefully snooping, or whether the other partner has been careless with their electronic devices, in this digital age emails, text messages and internet browser history have caused many people to know for certain that they will be divorcing.
Even if you have suspected that your spouse has been cheating, finding the undeniable evidence is gut-wrenching. It is in this moment that people realise that their lives will be changing, even if their initial reaction is to try to find excuses and forgive their spouse.
The icing on the cake
For some people the moment that they realise that they can not save their marriage may come about because of something seemingly insignificant and minor. However, it may be the perfect portrayal of everything that is wrong with their marriage. It may be someone spending too much money on alcohol instead of Christmas presents for the children, it may be someone not coming along to a family event, or it may be someone embarrassing you in public.
This moment may hit at the exact same time as a moment of clarity and perspective that makes you realise that your spouse will never change and that your lives will never move forward happily together.
No longer caring
The last common moment that people experience when they know they will be divorcing is when they realise that they simply no longer love their spouse and can do nothing to revive this. This can come about in all sorts of different ways. It may be that you no longer worry that they have not come home, you hear rumours of infidelities and just don’t care, or they have a great success that you can not bring yourself to celebrate with them.
Whatever happens that makes you realise that you will be divorcing it is important that you have all your financial affairs in order and have a full understanding of the financial affairs of your spouse and seek the help of a good family lawyer before moving forward.