More and more often new technologies are playing their part in divorces. They may not be the only cause, but indiscretions involving internet or mobile communications are resulting in couples splitting.
The reasons for so many technology-related divorces are complex. Internet and mobile communications are not yet something that people are collectively accustomed to and therefore the mixed bag of emotions that they bring are difficult to work through.
Someone may start an internet relationship when they are already married for a number of reasons. Their marriage may be lacking something such as closeness, sexual desire or excitement. Someone may not treat an internet relationship as an infidelity and may not view it with the same gravity as their spouse. Someone may be experiencing outside stress which may cause them to react in some way. Or, commonly, the excitement of the secrecy and the new messages received can become addictive, in the same way as social media can become addictive.
Although the vast majority of internet relationships remain just that, without any physical infidelity taking place, a discovery of an internet relationship can cause enough damage to lead to a divorce. The secrecy element is often the main cause of hurt to the other partner. Once trust has gone from a relationship it is very difficult to build back up.
Someone may discover that their other half has been discussing sexual fantasises or sending explicit photos online that they were otherwise unaware of. Again, this can lead to a large breakdown of trust, as it is taken fore-granted in a marriage that couples share their sexual needs and fulfilments solely with each other.
Messages may be discovered that reveal a darker side to the perpetrator that the spouse was previously unaware of. This can cause them to question everything that they thought they knew about their spouse and can lead to feelings of disgust, which can also cause everything else to breakdown.
If one spouse has suspected something and gone searching for evidence on the private computer or mobile of their partner then accusations will soon fly about lack of privacy and being too nosy, whether or not something has actually been discovered. Suspicion, insecurities and mistrust will greatly damage a marriage.
When internet or mobile relationships are discovered feelings of anger and hurt will quickly erupt, but to move on it is important to question the motives behind the indiscretions. Talking through these with or without the help of a counsellor can help, along with the spouse understanding the feelings of hurt that they have caused.
With the ease of communications and new ways of hiding messages unfortunately mobile and internet will continue to lead to the breakdown of marriages and divorce courts will adapt to taking new forms of evidence of infidelities.