Unless your divorce has been caused by you entering into a new relationship during your marriage then post-divorce you will at some point have your first post-divorce romance. It is daunting and exciting and shows a great strength of character to have reached that point.
There are a few things to note about moving on romantically after a divorce, these can reduce problems both legally and emotionally.
Firstly, a post-divorce romance should be just that – post-divorce. Entering into a new romance during your divorce proceedings can anger your ex-partner and could cause them to start making life more difficult for you, they could use it in court, when it comes to deciding on maintenance payments and the emotions of a divorce are not something that should be shared with any new flames, if you want something to last.
You should ignore all the pressures to start up and new romances. Well-meaning friends and family will set you up with profiles on online dating sites, suggest you meet their newly single friend and joke, but with a sense of urgency, about when you are going to get back on the horse.
A divorce is an emotionally-draining time and a period of recovery and adjustment is needed afterwards. Some people take weeks to recover, others months, others need years. You can’t move on with someone else until you have truly moved on in yourself. Don’t feel pressurised into dating straight away, it won’t be a pleasant experience if you are not ready.
It goes without saying that you should be aware of your children and avoid putting them in physical or emotional danger. It is a good idea not to introduce any new romances to your children unless you are sure that the object of your desires is likely to hang around for a while. That being said, you should not feel guilty about wanting to start dating and forming new relationships. It is only natural and your children need a happy parent.
When you start dating remember that it is a new chapter in your life. You can’t forget your marriage, it is a part of who you are, you may still be involved in your ex’s life and even be friends. However, making comparisons between new romances and your ex will lead you on a road to disaster.
New romances will help you to heal and may lead to a new steady and life-long relationship, or they may just be fun for a few weeks. Wait until you are ready and enjoy your post-divorce life.