Talking to Your Children About Child Arrangements

Navigating changes in talking to your children about child arrangements can be challenging for both parents and children. The most important thing to do is be open and have honest communication with your children to help them understand, digest and adapt to these changes. Any change can be overwhelming, but when it comes to something like child arrangements where they might go from living with both parents, to living with just one, or to seeing one parent only a few times in a month, it can be very emotionally exhausting for them.

As a parent, it can feel impossible to comprehend how to approach this topic, especially when you will likely be feeling a lot of emotion about the situation itself.

We go through some basic things to remember when communicating about a change in child arrangements to your children, and hopefully remove some of the stress from you as the parent.

Understanding the change:

Explain the situation

The first thing to do when discussing these topics with your children is to clearly outline what is happening and what the new living arrangements will be.

Reasons for the change

Making sure your children understand why this change is happening is important, but it needs to be done in age-appropriate language so that they grasp a full understanding without scaring them or making them unnecessarily upset.

Preparing for the conversation with your children:

Choose the right time and place for the conversation

Find somewhere where your children feel safe and comfortable and where you can talk without any interruptions in order to show your children that the conversation is important and that you are fully present and listening to their questions.

Take your time

Make sure that you know what you want to say and are fully ready for the conversation before it takes place so that you can communicate to your children in a clear and calm manner.

During the conversation:

Use simple and straightforward language

Avoid using complex terms in order to ensure that your children fully understand what is going to happen.

Actively listen

Pay attention to how your children are reacting and let them ask questions and express any thoughts and feelings without interrupting them or dismissing them.

Reassure them

A big adjustment can feel very unsettling for them so make sure that they feel loved and safe and that you will always support them and be there for them no matter what the living situation is.

There is no formula for these conversations, and they can vary so much, child to child, situation to situation, but these suggestions and tips may help to reassure you.

If you need any support making child arrangements, then we have a team of expert family law solicitors who are ready to support you.

Contact our firm today to receive advice and support.