Who needs to know about your divorce?

Once you have told your family about your divorce then there are more people who will need to know and it is better that they hear it from you. If you take control of informing people then it also stops the spread of rumour and gossip as people will know that you are informing people of your own accord. That is not to say that you need to tell everyone that you are getting a divorce, as it is not everyone’s business. However, there are a few people that you should inform as early as possible to make your life easier.


Your friends are going to be your main support through your divorce so it is best to keep them informed. If you tell them what is going on then they can help you through it. If you leave your friends in the dark and they hear what is happening from other sources then they may feel left out and not be as willing to lend a hand when you most need it. When you tell mutual friends do not be tempted to get involved in a blame game and expect mutual friends to take sides. They won’t thank you for it and you could end up losing their friendship.


You should inform your boss that you are going through a divorce. Inform them early on in the proceedings and let them know that you are still fully committed to your work, but may need time off for legal matters. Your boss should understand that although you are trying your best not to bring your personal life into the office that you may not always be firing on all cylinders. As long as they know that this is a temporary situation you job will be secure. Inform your boss that you are telling them on a confidential basis to stop the office-rumours.

It will depend on your relationship with your co-workers and the type of work that you do as to whether or not you tell any of them. You may find support from your co-workers if they know, or you may not tell them and use work as a place to go to escape your personal problems. You are not under any obligation to tell co-workers, but if you are struggling to cope then telling them that you are having personal problems will ensure that they are more understanding and forgiving if you don’t seem to be your normal self.


Professional who are connected to your children, such as school teachers and your GP should be informed that you are going through a divorce. It is important that your children are treated with kindness and understanding if they are upset at school and that teachers cut some slack if they don’t perform as well as normal.

How and when you tell people about your divorce is up to you, but if you tell people of your situation and ask them to respect your privacy then they will respect you for this and be able to help you. Those close to you will sense that something is not right and may be hurt if they are not informed.


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