Who needs to know about your divorce

Going through a divorce is a very private experience. It can be hard to let people in and difficult to tell people about it. The important thing to remember is that you don’t have to tell anyone and everyone and expose yourself to rumours and gossip.

However, there are some people that you should tell, to make your life easier and avoid upset down the line.

Anyone involved with your children

If you have children, then you should inform their teachers, or anyone else who is closely involved in their lives, about your home situation. You can tell them before you tell your children, provided you are certain that they can be trusted to not mention anything.

Children will be affected by even the most amicable of splits, and anyone close to them will notice a change in their behaviour. By informing them, you can be sure that they will support your children, rather than add pressure by questioning their behaviour.

Your employers

If you can maintain all your focus during work while you are going through a divorce, then you are stronger than most people. Unless you work in an incredibly competitive industry, you should inform your employer about your situation. Most employers will be able to offer you support and grant you time off when you need it.

You don’t want to jeopardise your career at a volatile time, but many employees are surprised at the support they receive from their work.

Those invested in your marriage

The people who are most invested in your marriage are likely to be very close family and friends. These are the ones who will also be affected by the divorce, as they may worry about seeing their nephews and nieces, or grandchildren, or be concerned about their friendships with you.

Keeping these people informed will increase their ability to support you. If you don’t inform someone who feels that they should have been told, you risk offending them which can add extra stress at a stressful time.

You can tell or not tell whoever you want about your divorce, in the early stages and should think carefully about each person. However, increasing your support network will be a positive thing.

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