Why you need to avoid comparing situations during your divorce

Divorce is not uncommon. Currently around 42% of marriages end in divorce in the UK. However, it is not something that people know much about until they have to go through it.

When couples do split and divorce becomes inevitable, it is normal for each spouse to seek advice and reassurance from those they know who have already been through a divorce. Although in some respects this can be helpful, it can also be damaging if the wrong advice is given.

Everyone is different

Although divorce is common, no two situations are the same. No two couples have been married exactly the same time, with exactly the same assets, financial history and exactly the same aged children.

There are many different factors to take into account during a divorce and it is never a simple 50/50 split. Two situations can look similar, but there will bit subtle differences that can shape how the overall divorce settlement is decided.

This is why you should always talk to your divorce lawyer for advice on expected outcomes, rather than your friends or family.

Facts are hard to come by

No matter how well meaning friends and family are when they discuss their divorce experience with you, it is nearly impossible to have a balanced account of the situation. People may unintentionally exaggerate, or simply forget some details that affected their settlement.

Hard facts in something as complex as a divorce are very hard to come by.

Every legal situation is different

It is not just familial situations that are different, but also legal situations. Every divorce lawyer will work in a different way. You can choose mediation, collaborative law or go through court. If you go through court, then you are unlikely to have the same judge as your friends had.

How the divorce settlement is decided will affect the outcome. It may be that one person in the couple decided to settle for less than they could have got in order to finalise the divorce quicker, or both parties could have fought hard for everything that they could get.

Comparing your divorce to that of a friend isn’t going to help you and can give you unrealistic expectations.

Instead, you should consult your family lawyer and let them advise you on your divorce.


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