At Grant Stephens Family Law in Cardiff we do everything we can to keep people out of the family law courts and push for either mediation or collaborative law instead. The benefits of using mediation as a means for sorting out the terms of divorce are huge, but unfortunately mediation is not for every couple.
Here are some reasons why mediation may not be right for you:
Abuse
Whenever there has been physical, mental or sexual abuse in the family the divorce should go through the courts. Mediation is a place where two adults can discuss their split. Abuse greatly shifts the balance of power and mediation is not the right place for a victim of abuse to get a fair deal.
Hidden finances
Let get one thing straight – hiding wealth during a divorce is illegal. However, that doesn’t stop many people from attempting it. If your partner has a chequered financial portfolio and is not coming clean about how much they have, then you firstly need to hire an experienced financial detective and secondly the information and evidence will need to be presented before a judge.
When your ex wants the courts
Divorce can bring out the very worst in people and if your ex is adamant on dragging you through the courts, then unfortunately that is where you are heading. Judges do not enjoy extended divorce cases, so they will not look favourably on anyone who is purposefully wasting everybody’s time.
You, your lawyers and even your ex’s lawyers can do their best to persuade your ex that the court system will be more expensive and take longer, but they can not stop them from breaking down mediation sessions if that is what they want to do.
When your ex won’t see reason
Mediation works so well as both parties are able to communicate and together work out the fairest split, understanding the point of view of the other person. When both parties are committed to the process it is very rare that it will fail.
Unfortunately, sometimes one person will refuse to see reason, going into mediation presuming they can bully their way to the result that they want. The mediator is there to prevent bullying and unfair behaviour, so if it becomes too prevalent the court system will have to take over.
Mediation is very successful for everyone who wants it to succeed. Your divorce lawyer will advise you if they believe that it is not for you.