What to do about your marriage breaking down

After a dream wedding to a dream partner very few people dream that they are going to get divorced. However, statistically there is a possibility of divorce for everyone. Life can throw all sorts of things at you and not all marriages will survive through to ripe old age. Family lawyers will tell you that divorce is always the last option. It should only be considered when all else has failed.

There are endless reasons why a marriage may break down. But what can you do about it?

External factors can lead to the break down of a marriage, which can not be predicted or avoided. Stresses such as an ill child, a dying relative, loss of a job, financial difficulty or illness can happen to anyone. At these times one or both spouses will be under a lot of stress and very unhappy. When people are unhappy they will argue more, be less sensitive, be forgetful and not the fun, happy person that they used to be. It is very sad when a tragic event leads to the break down of a marriage.

During difficult times it is vital to take into account how your partner will be feeling and to remember that there will be good times again. The person that you fell in love with will re-emerge once the stressful event has passed. Get all the support that you need and be aware that bickering with your partner won’t solve anything.

Often there is no one event that you can blame on the break down of a marriage. Two people simply drift apart and start to want different things from life. If you sense that this is happening in your marriage, then it is time to stop and take a good look at what is going on.

If you marry at a young age then it could be a good 60 years before either one of you naturally passes on. 60 years is a long time. Your marriage will naturally go through ups and downs. The fairytales never tell you that marriages require work.

Communication is the most important thing in a marriage. If you are unhappy then you can not wait for your spouse to notice, especially if they are wrapped up with the children or with work. If you don’t communicate immediately then resentment can build and once that starts to happen it is very difficult to go back.

Taking a look at the bigger picture can help tremendously. You may be arguing about very petty things that seem a big deal at the time. If you disagree about a point then remember that there is lots that you do agree on. The chances are that in a few years you won’t even remember what the argument was about.

When you enter into your marriage be prepared for the ups and downs and sometimes the monotony of it. If things are getting stale, plan a holiday or just some quality time to remind each other why you got married. If you can’t fix things then seek some professional help.

During a rocky patch in a marriage divorce may seem like the easy way out. Unfortunately it is a difficult and emotional process that should only be entered into as a last resort. Do what you can to save your marriage first.

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