Living Alone After A Separation

Living Alone After A Separation


Going from living with a partner for a long time, to living on your own can be a huge adjustment, and something that is very daunting for many people. For some people, it might be the first time they have ever lived on their own, and it comes with a lot of anxieties and emotions. Feeling this way is completely normal and it takes a long time to adjust to a change like this. You might have to find a new home, buy new furniture and clothes, work out how to budget and live on just one income instead of two, manage all your finances, bills, and insurance on your own and get used to a quiet house, with just yourself to occupy.

But living alone is not all bad. Whilst it is completely understandable to be worried about it and for there to be an adjustment period, it won’t feel this way forever and there are many positives to living on your own.

  1. Having your own space – whilst this is daunting at first, having your own space which you can decorate and fill in whatever way you like, is a completely fresh start and allows you to create a space that makes you happy. You can make it as colourful as you like, put up pictures that make you smile and make it tailored to your own needs and wants.
  2. Have time to focus on some of your personal goals – When you separate from a partner, you have a lot more spare time, especially if you are sharing custody of your children. Instead of feeling like you have an empty nest and sitting in your new home in the quietness, take this time to discover or rediscover hobbies that you enjoy. It could be crafting, exercise classes, or music, but it is the perfect opportunity to find something that you enjoy and setting goals for yourself, as often your own goals get forgotten when you have a family. Setting personal goals can just be as simple as ‘I want to spend less time on my phone, and more time out in the countryside’, or it could be a career goal as you may have more time to work on your career progression after a separation.
  3. Self-reflecting – An important part of personal growth is looking back on your life and decisions that you have made and reflecting on what you may have learnt or seeing how far you have come. When you go through a separation, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed or worried that maybe you have made a wrong decision, or just upset about how the situation has worked out, but in the first few months of living alone, you have the perfect opportunity to reflect on your life and your decisions and recognise the importance of all these big decisions that you have made.
  4. Time to meet new people – Meeting new people doesn’t mean getting into a new relationship straight away. Quite often, when people separate, they find that their social circles were often shared with their partner, and it makes it tricky to navigate, but this is the perfect opportunity to go out and make new friends or use this time to see the friends and family you already have more often. There are lots of great social opportunities in most towns and cities and whilst going somewhere completely on your own is not an easy thing to do, every time you do it, it gets easier, and it will feel so nice after, that you have taken that step and increased your social circle.

If you have children and separate from your partner, loneliness might not be the only emotion you feel. There can be a lot of stress involved with trying to make the necessary arrangements for children and it can be hard to make it a smooth process for the children with so many things to consider. Some issues that might arise are:

  • Disagreements about how the time will be split between both parents.
  • Disagreements about whether there should be an equal shared care arrangement for the children or whether there should be an unequal arrangement.
  • Working out how finances will be split to cover the costs of the children.

Making this arrangement is a difficult process and can be hard to deal with. If you want support in agreeing the child arrangements, you can contact Grant Stephens Family Law to receive expert advice on 02921 679333.

Living alone after you have separated will get easier over time, but if you are struggling particularly with the change and the new circumstances, then try to reach out to the people around you to get support. Navigating this change is never an easy thing to do, but sometimes realising that there are a few positives hidden amongst the negatives, can make the process easier.


Published: 21st July, 2024

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