During a divorce no one is going to expect too much from you and you shouldn’t expect too much from yourself. However, it is not going to be good for you or for anyone else if you are continually miserable and show no signs of improving.
You don’t have to be all sunshine and roses, but some positivity will be better for you physical and mental health and help you to recover more quickly and to maintain all-important relationships with friends and family. At Grant Stephens Family Law in Cardiff we see people in all sorts of different mind-frames and witness them go on some amazing personal journeys. We want each client to come out of their divorce ready to move on to the next phase of their lives, whatever that may be. Here are some tips on how to stay positive during and after your divorce.
Let yourself grieve
Don’t feel you need to stop all your emotions to achieve positivity. Instead, let yourself grieve and be upset and angry. If you are in touch with your emotions then you will be better at controlling them in the long run.
Decide to be positive
Making a decision to have a positive outlook may sound very simplistic. It is a massive thing to do, but making a conscious decision that you want to move on and create a good life for yourself is the first step to achieving this goal. If you decide to move on and keep telling yourself that you want to move on then you will.
Make some changes
Some form of physical change is a great signifier of an emotional change and a marker point for your new life. A surprising number of people get a new haircut after a break up. You could totally change your wardrobe, redo your house, throw a load of things away, get fit or finally get that piercing that you have wanted since you were 16. It is the perfect time to make a big change as friends and family will excuse spontaneous and out-of-character behaviour.
Get a pet
A dog is for life, not just for Christmas, but if you are able to care for an animal then a pet can provide a much needed distraction and company. If you are unsure whether you can commit to a new animal then contact your local animal shelter and see if any animals need fostering for a few weeks.
Take up a hobby
Whether you take up something new, or reignite a passion with an old interest, a hobby can help distract you from your personal situation. A hobby can provide exercise, help you meet new people and give you a new purpose in life.
Take your time
Be realistic about achieving a positive outlook during and after a divorce and give yourself time. Don’t beat yourself up about the bad days, just be prepared to ride the roller coaster of emotion and focus on what it is you want from your new life. A positive outlook won’t come over night but with work and effort you will steadily reach your goals.