There may be no right way to tell your spouse that you wish to divorce. However, there are plenty of ways that should be avoided. It will never be an easy thing to be the first person to mention the ‘D’ word but there are a few steps that you can take that will make the whole process easier.
Don’t jump into it
You may have been thinking about a divorce for a long time, but any sudden moves or announcements in the heat of an argument will not go well. Before you make any plans to ask your spouse for a divorce take a long time to consider how they are feeling and how they will react to various different situations and approaches. Choose a time, place and method that will do the least damage, even if this involves waiting.
Prepare in advance
Prepare a time and a place where you can sit and discuss in private and without any interruptions. This is not a conversation that you want to rush, as it will influence the entire divorce process. Your spouse will need time and privacy to be emotional and you don’t want to be worrying about a time limit, or suddenly having to pretend that nothing is wrong in front of friends or family.
Surprises are worse
Every couple and every situation are different. For some couples both parties feel that a divorce is inevitable and one person bringing it up may be a relief to the other. However, some people may either be in denial or oblivious to the breakdown of their marriage and the feelings of the other.
If your desire for a divorce will come as a shock to your partner you will need to handle the talk with a lot more care and consideration. Do not blame your spouse and do your utmost to reduce conflict. If you are resolute in your decision then you may have to be quite firm as well as your spouse may try to change your mind.
Have help in place
Once the subject has been brought up the feelings of anger and resentment will boil to the surface and can real skew your judgement. Have a list of help in place so you can move swiftly and not completely breakdown in communication. This may involve having a close friend on stand-by, a list of counsellors or recommendations for a divorce mediator so your divorce process is as painless as possible