Divorce advice not to listen to

If you are going through a divorce then undoubtedly friends, family and people you barely know will be gathering around with ‘helpful advice.’ Although most of it will be well-meaning, a lot of it may be wrong or misleading. Here are some common things that people will say to you that you really should consider carefully before embarking upon.

You must start dating

Must you? Going through a divorce is tough on your emotions and putting yourself through the gauntlet of dating is unlikely to make you feel better if it isn’t something you want to do. Many people find that they are a perfectly happy, whole person while they are single and dating is the furthest thing from their mind.

Don’t see anyone else for at least a year

Yes, we’re confused too. Some people will tell you that you must date, others that you mustn’t for a whole year. But where are we? High school? There is no time limit for dating. You may bump into your soul mate the same day you sign your papers. You’ll know when you’re ready. You may fancy it, you may not, but it shouldn’t be dictated by other people’s opinions.

Oh, and if you do date, it’s fine to text them back straightaway as well. You don’t have to wait 3 days, now you’re an adult.

Rinse them for all they’ve got!

It can be very comforting when friends and family gather on your side and declare war on your ex. However, some of the battle cries shouldn’t be taken as literal advice. When you are splitting assets it is best to talk to a qualified family law solicitor who can give you realistic expectations and save you a lot of money in court fees by assisting you through mediation or collaborative law, rather than a long drawn out battle that is doomed to fail.

Get over it

In whatever shape and form divorce takes, it is always an upheaval. Being told to ‘get over it’ isn’t realistic until you have had time to work through all your emotions and get your life back on track. It is fine to be angry and upset and perfectly natural. You stand a much better chance of ‘getting over it’ if you allow yourself the time to grieve and adjust, rather than put on a brave face too early.

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