At our family law firm in Cardiff we meet people at all different stages of life who are going through a divorce.
Moving forward after a divorce is difficult no matter your age, but for many people who are middle aged it can be extra daunting.
The world has changed a lot recently and emerging as a newly single person after years of settled marriage is not easy. Firstly there are all the practicalities, such as budgeting solo and living off one income. The housing market is incredibly competitive now and re-entering it solo if you have lost your house during the divorce will come as a shock.
But as terrifying as the finances may seem, that is nothing compared to the thought of going out on a date. Unless you are divorcing because you have started a serious and long term relationship with someone else, dating is something that will be on your horizon. You may not want to do it for some time, and no one would blame you for that, but your friends will certainly keep reminding you that at some point you will want another romance.
As soon as you start thinking about dating you won’t be able to avoid the massive internet dating industry. Whether or not you choose to go down this route will depend on your personal preference. The internet has provided a forum for many, many happy couples to meet. However, it has also wasted a lot of time and caused a lot of upset and disappointment.
If you are thinking of internet dating, do your research and choose a site that attracts people with a similar intent. If you are looking for a life partner then then sites that specialise in casual relations will not be for you and vice versa.
For many they find that internet dating is not for them, as judging people by their profile photo and whether their interests often doesn’t lead to good compatibility. However, it may be a good way to go on those first few dates while you start to test the waters.
Otherwise, meeting new people involves joining clubs, getting down the pub and letting friends make introductions. The chances of getting a date if you stay at home are very slim.
One of the main worries for those dating in middle age who haven’t dated since their twenties is not enticing conversation, or choosing a nice restaurant, but their middle aged body. What people gain in confidence, life experience, security and wisdom as they age suddenly seems irrelevant after glancing in the mirror.
However, anyone who can’t see past a few laughter lines will never make a good partner when you both hit 90.
Although the dating landscape may have changed and things may not be quite as pert as they were, dating after a divorce in your middle age can be good fun and your married friends will lap up your stories. If you don’t take it too seriously then you will have a good time and may meet the one who will stay with you for good.