Coping after a divorce check list

Going through a divorce is an intense process. Often all the paperwork and admin can take up so much time and energy that there is no space left to deal with the emotional impact. All the emotions can then suddenly hit after the divorce, leaving the divorcee feeling lost and empty.

If this is you, or if you feel like it may be you in the future, take a read of this checklist that contains some simple things you can do to ensure you recover and flourish after your divorce.

Let the emotions out

If you feel like you need a good cry, do it. It is healthier to let your emotions out and then recover, rather than bottling everything up. You shouldn’t feel bad about grieving for your marriage, no matter how it came to an end.

Mark the occasion

Take a moment to do something to mark your divorce and the start of your new life. It may be something small, like a glass of wine with friends, or it might be something big like a holiday. Whatever fits into your circumstances and lifestyle, don’t let the moment pass without acknowledgement.

Be selfish

Even if you have children, it is ok to be selfish. Do some things just for you that make you happy. You could join a yoga class, go out with friends, learn a new skill. This will help you to reconnect with who you are, outside of your marriage.

Don’t ask questions

It is natural to be plagued with doubt about what went wrong and what would have happened if you’d acted differently during your marriage. However, life is complex and many questions don’t have answers. Even fewer questions have satisfactory answers. You have to let go of the doubt and move forward leaving things unanswered.

Make a plan

Work towards something. Decide what it is you want to achieve in the next few years and start taking steps towards this. You don’t have to rush into anything, but making progress towards a goal will help you to look hopefully into the future.