Being newly divorced is an unsettling experience. It is easy to feel lost and not know which direction your life should now go in. There is no right or wrong way to recover from a divorce and everyone’s situation is unique.
Yet there are some behaviours and actions that can harm your recovery process. Here are 5 things that you should avoid after your divorce.
Heavy social media use
When you look through social media it seems like everyone is perfect except you. Use it to stay in touch with friends and family, but avoid getting sucked in to it. Don’t compare your life with the carefully chosen and edited life that others are choosing to show you via their social media channels. If you are feeling lonely, meet people in real life for a proper chat.
Unless you don’t drink at all, the chances are that you will need a drink or two to get you through stressful periods of your divorce. A bottle of wine and a good friend to talk to can be excellent therapy.
However, avoid excessive drinking, smoking, bad eating habits and any other particularly unhealthy behaviours. During a rocky time, such as a divorce, you will be extra vulnerable to addictions and habits spiralling out of control.
Whether it is someone at the school gates, a mutual friend to you and your ex, or even a family member, some people can really bring you down after a divorce. They may turn judgemental, or ignore you completely. Now is not the time to humour them.
You don’t have to cut people out forever, but limit your contact with anyone who makes you feel even worse while you are working your way through the worst of it.
Spending too much
For many people a divorce is a time to transform their whole lives. It can be an opportunity to do something that you have always wanted to do. However, avoid spending to much on your new life until you have secured a place to live and know that you can afford it with your income.
Splitting finances in half can come as a shock, so be sure to budget carefully in the first few months.
A quest for answers
It is normal to feel hard done by when you divorce, especially if it appears that it is entirely the fault of your ex. However, trying to get answers from them will not bring you closure. Wanting to know why your ex did a certain thing or treated you in a certain way is perfectly understandable, but there is no answer that will help you to move on. Only time can do that.