Why you should keep to your best behaviour during your divorce

Divorce doesn’t always bring out the best in people. In fact, it rarely does and it is not surprising that tempers will flair between two people who previously thought that they would be spending their lives together.

However, during a divorce it is important that you are on your best behaviour. Succumbing to your instincts to behave badly will not help you in the long run and could even end up costing you more money.

What counts as bad behaviour during your divorce?

Bad behaviour during a divorce is the same as bad behaviour during any other situation. Tempers may flare, but anything that involves destroying possessions, being dishonest or manipulative, or refusing to communicate at all is bad behaviour.

As divorce lawyers, we occasionally hear some examples of very extreme bad behaviour, which is often completely out of character for the person committing it.

Bad behaviour can cost you money

Behaving badly or unreasonably during a divorce may seem therapeutic, but in the long run it is damaging.

Bad behaviour can cost you money as it can draw out the divorce process when communication breaks down. This will cost you more in legal fees and if your divorce goes to court your behaviour may be frowned upon by the judge who is deciding on the settlement.

A longer divorce not only costs more in legal fees, but it also prevents you from starting your new life afresh for longer, which can also cost you financially in the long run.

Bad behaviour can leave you isolated

Seeking vengeance by behaving badly towards your ex is very tempting. In the heat of the moment it is very easy to justify to yourself that what you are doing or how you are acting is appropriate.

However, those around you may not agree. There are two sides to every story and your friends and family may choose to agree with the side that your ex is on. Bad behaviour can damage your long term social relationships which can leave you isolated at a time when you most need your friends around you.

Your children come first

If you have children, then behaving badly can cause them unnecessary upset. Even if you feel you have been deeply wronged and you are extremely angry with your ex, you should always focus on setting a good example for your children and not exposing them to adult levels of emotions and actions.

If there are situations where you feel you can not bite your tongue, ensure someone else is looking after your children.