Category Archives: Mediation

Why mediation is the best divorce procedure for parents

Divorce often comes as a nasty surprise to previously happy parents. There may have been a long build-up, but when the reality hits, it hits hard and not only affects the lives of the couple, but also the lives of the children and all extended family members.

Very few parents want anything other than the best for their children, but during the turmoil of a divorce, unfortunately children can have a very traumatic time.

At Grant Stephens Family Law in Cardiff, we recommend to all parents in a non-abusive relationship that they try mediation, rather than taking their divorce straight to the family courts, as we regularly see huge benefits for couples.

Mediation saves money, can be quicker and is completely private. However, above all else, mediation teaches couples to communicate effectively which greatly limits the impact of the divorce on their children.

Although it is possible to go back on your marriage vows, parenting is a union which really is “until death do us part.” Like it or hate it, you are stuck in an unbreakable bond with someone when you have children together.

Going from a married couple to two separate people requires a completely new relationship. During mediation sessions, the mediator will assist couples in forming the new relationship. This won’t happen overnight, but through respectful communication, couples can go from stuck in a loop of arguments, as they cling on to the emotions and experiences of their marriage to effective co-parents.

For this to work, both parents have to accept the finality of the divorce and the end of the marriage. This then gives them space to start the new relationship, which does not have to be friendly, fun or loving, but it does have to be effective and honest.

Mediation is a safe place for this relationship to start. The mediator acts as the guide and provides the tools that couples need to move on as co-parents. The communication skills learned during mediation will then be used by the parents time and time again, as the children grow and situations change. From attending a school show and being civil, to sorting out family holiday plans, to both attending a child’s wedding or grandchild’s christening without any upset or tension.

Mediation can not only solve your divorce, but also ease you into your new lives apart.

 

When Mediation May Not Be Right For You

At Grant Stephens Family Law in Cardiff we do everything we can to keep people out of the family law courts and push for either mediation or collaborative law instead. The benefits of using mediation as a means for sorting out the terms of divorce are huge, but unfortunately mediation is not for every couple.… Continue Reading

Will mediation guarantee me a fair divorce settlement?

Mediation is a means of talking with your partner in the presence of a mediator, an independent professional. It is not counselling or marriage guidance which is more emotion/relationship based, but focuses on resolving disputes regarding your children, home, finances or any outstanding legal practicalities that are preventing you from moving forward. It is usually… Continue Reading

Who gets the dog when we divorce?

While there is a lot of emphasis on finances and children during divorce cases, the one thing that can tip divorcing couples over the edge is deciding on who gets to keep the beloved family pets. Who gets the dog (or cat, or hamster) during a divorce is a very contentious issue and there are… Continue Reading

Why Mediation Helps To Resolve Conflict

Other than in a few exceptional cases divorce always involves conflict. As people separate they both have to start looking after their own interests while they are dividing up their assets and this, naturally, will result in disagreements. Many couples are convinced that if they go before a court a judge will resolve all their… Continue Reading

How to convince your ex that mediation is best

It is now compulsory for most divorcing couples to attempt mediation before they can use the family law courts to settle the terms of their divorce. However, your ex may be dead-set against mediation and either work the system to go straight to the courts, or to deliberately sabotage the compulsory mediation. If you do… Continue Reading

Use Mediation To Aid Communication

Mediation is becoming more and more common for divorcing couples who are seeking an alternative to the divorce courts. Mediation has a number of benefits, including reduced costs, more control and being able to go at your own pace. However, the greatest benefit that mediation brings is opening up communication between you and your ex.… Continue Reading

Why Mediation Can Improve Your Life In The Long Term

Ending a marriage and facing a divorce is a very emotional time. It can cause even the gentlest and most level-headed of people to become angry, bitter and highly stressed. No matter the circumstances of your divorce, you will need to be prepared for a full range of emotions. It is common and understandable for… Continue Reading

Why one spouse won’t want the divorce

More often than not couples arrive at the decision to divorce together. Marriages breakdown for all sorts of reasons, infidelity being just one. Whatever the reason often both parties can see it coming. The spouse who has cheated may not want to divorce, but after everything has come to light they may see it as… Continue Reading