Category Archives: Domestic Violence

How to recognise emotional abuse in a marriage

All marriages have their ups and downs and all couples will argue and have disagreements. This is perfectly natural and normal part of married life. During an argument it can be unpleasant for both people, but it will pass if the marriage is based on mutual respect and communication.

However, where emotional abuse is taking place the dynamics are very different. It can be incredibly difficult to spot emotional abuse for the victim and their close friends and family, but if you are a victim it is essential you seek immediate help to remove yourself from the situation.

The initial signs

Emotionally abusive marriages don’t start off being emotionally abusive, instead they slowly get worse over time until the victim is trapped in the situation. The abuse may not start until long into a marriage, after a trigger or a change in circumstance.

It may start with small comments that undermine the confidence of the victim, such as about their weight, professional ability or clothing. At first these comments can be brushed off and the abuser may apologise for them, so the victim barely notices them, but over time they can have a huge impact on their confidence.

A huge part of emotional abuse is separating the victim from outside support. It is not as obvious as the abuser standing at the door and not letting the victim out, but instead the abuser may get jealous or start to sulk, leaving the victim feeling guilty about seeing their friends so it seems easier to stay at home.

As it gets worse

As time goes on, the victim will have dramatically diminished confidence and feel completely unable and unwilling to leave the situation. When it happens gradually the victim often accepts the abuse as normality.

The abuser will ensure that the victim rarely sees family and friends and will become increasingly unpleasant and insulting, while still playing on the victim’s empathy to get them to stay.

What to do about emotional abuse

If you are the victim of emotional abuse, it is vital that you seek help. It can be difficult at first to get friends or family member to believe how bad things are as you struggle to admit it yourself and they won’t recognise you as a typical victim. If you can get the support of friends or family you must do so, otherwise there are a number of organisations that you can contact who will help you.

Your GP will be able to help, but if you can not get to one you can contact any of the following organisations:

SupportLine: 01708 765200

email info@supportline.org.uk

www.womensaid.org.uk

www.elderabuse.org.uk

www.broken-rainbow.org.uk

www.hiddenhurt.co.uk

www.victimsupport.org

You should also enlist the help of a family lawyer straight away, so you have legal backing behind you.

It is important to remember that emotional abuse can happen to both men and women.

Leaving can be the most dangerous time for a victim of emotional abuse as the loss of control can push the abuser into violence. Once you have made up your mind to leave ensure you do so safely and have a safe place to go, with the assistance of your friends and family, or the support of a specialist organization.

Helping children understand an abusive ex partner

When one parent is abusive it is devastating for the children and all family members involved. In the UK family courts children will be protected from an abusive parent, either with no access or limited access, sometimes in a designated safe location. After any abuse that the children have gone through, whether physical or mental,… Continue Reading

Options for escaping from domestic abuse

Domestic abuse is wide spread and happens to people from all different backgrounds and in every variety of situation. At the moment there are three main legal actions that can be taken for the protection of domestic abuse sufferers, depending on the situation and the severity of the abuse. Domestic abuse is a life threatening… Continue Reading

Protecting yourself in a domestic abuse situation

Sadly, domestic abuse is very common and can affect anyone. It does not matter what gender, race, religion or social class you come from you could still be at risk. Domestic abuse is not just physical violence, but also sexual violence, emotional and verbal violence. Domestic abuse situations often happen very gradually. A partner does… Continue Reading

New Domestic Abuse Law

The home secretary has announced a new offence for “coercive and controlling” behaviour within relationships in an attempt to tackle domestic abuse. Up until very recently domestic abuse has largely been swept under the carpet by governments and police forces, but this summer a review was carried out by the government on whether or not… Continue Reading

New EU Law on Domestic Violence

EU Regulation on Mutual Recognition of Protection Measures in Civil Matters The EU has introduced a new law to protect victims of domestic violence and those who need protective measures. The law will come into force from January 2015. It is the result of years of work in the Daphne Project. The law is aimed… Continue Reading